What I did with my $600 stimulus check

You have no doubt heard that Republicans are worried that people will spend their "economic stimulus check" on paying down their debt. I know, awww, poor billionaires, people may not buy your plasma screen TVs and help you out with buying your own "economic stimulus" purchases like your 5th yacht. I'm shocked and amazed (although, I know, I really shouldn't at this point) that the government--the GOVERNMENT!!--would encourage people to go on SHOPPING SPREES in lieu of doing the responsible thing with their money, even as Americans are whatever the statistics say--more in debt than any other previous generation, that this is one of the causes of the sub-prime mortgage mess, etc.

Well, I'm happy to say that I spent my ENTIRE "economic stimulus check" on debt. Take THAT, George W. Bush!!! And I actually felt guilty about it. I so wanted to give it to, I dunno, a hospital or a school instead--something I wish my taxes actually went towards instead of the Iraq war--but I concluded that that just wasn't responsible; that as long as I'm in debt, that would be giving away money that really wasn't technically mine to give.

Is it just me, or is "economic stimulus plan" a quintessentially Orwellian phrase? It sounds more like "here's a bribe to get you to vote Republican in the next election; who knows, maybe you'll get another one of these puppies next year if McCain wins!!"

I fear, though, that even if most people do pay down debt instead of buying plasma screens with their bribes, that they will in fact, at least at some point, use the extra space in debt they've cleared up to in fact go out and buy those plasma screens. Alas.

By the way, I always use the yacht as the symbol of lavish, needless expenditures by the rich. For some reason I seem to think that this is quite common. However, I'm sure that this isn't the MOST lavish, needless expenditure in the world. And does anyone reading this actually own a yacht? Can you defend it as a purchase? Or is it truly, as I heard one yacht owner explain, a hole in the ocean you throw money into--money that could instead be used to, I dunno, fund schools and hospitals in your own country? Oh, but doing that would mean you're a commie traitor to the American way, wouldn't it??